I started having mild cramps on Wednesday around noon, five
days after my due date of January 25th. I was at a Burack Lecture at UVM with
the girl I was training to cover for my position during maternity leave. We
were sitting against the wall in a crowded room. I thought it would be funny if
my water broke now, especially since the lecture was recorded so the whole
thing would be on film.
The cramps continued all day. I left work around 3 pm and
told my boss Gary that I probably wouldn’t be back the next day. We hugged and
I started saying bye to people in the office.
By the time Aaron got home I was resting in bed. I told him
what was happening and he started taking apart and repacking the hospital bag.
Drea came over and I helped her write a bio to be a Wanderlust Wayfarer, so
life was carrying on somewhat as usual. I was able to sleep pretty well that
night.
Aaron took the next day off from work. We went to Penny
Cluse to have a big breakfast, not knowing when our last meal for a while might
be. We ran into Anastasia, the midwife from our Birth Journeys classes, and
told her I might be in early labor. Just like a midwife, she wasn’t alarmed.
She smiled and said “I’m so happy for you. Enjoy your breakfast.”
That afternoon we had an appointment with Jenny at Maitri.
She said the cramping was a good sign and it was very unlikely I would go 42
weeks and need to be induced. She checked me out and immediately said “great
exam, things are looking ready.” I was 2.5 cm dilated and 50% effaced with soft
tissue. Apparently our nightly Evening Primrose Oil sessions had helped!
Before we left we did a non-stress test to see how Owain was
doing. He was a perfectly mellow and happy little baby. He had been so calm
throughout my pregnancy so I wasn’t surprised. We could see the contractions
happening on the monitor and Owain’s reactions.
That night Aaron and I went out to dinner at the Farm House.
The contractions continued and I told Aaron each time they were happening so we
could revel in the fact that I might be in early labor in a crowded restaurant.
It was lovely to have an evening together in total bliss, excitement and
nervousness, knowing what was about to happen.
We went to bed around 10 pm that night and the contractions
started to wake me up often. I kept feeling like I had to go to the bathroom so
I was up a lot. Poor Drea was staying at our place that night and was confused
about what was going on. By
midnight I knew I had to wake up Aaron and start timing contractions. Of course
Aaron found a great iPhone app to track them so we were able to see that they
were all over the place but getting stronger. Around 1 am we called Maitri and got Kristen, the
gentle-natured midwife. Aaron gave her the stats and to my surprise she said to
head on in to the hospital. I had imagined that we would labor at home for a
while but I guess it was time. I had a few contractions leaning over the bed
while Aaron rushed around to get last minute things packed up. Eventually I
vomited during one of the contractions and Aaron came rushing over with a
towel. It must have been powerful because he then threw up in the towel he was
using to clean up MY throw up! By now Drea was aware of what was happening and
we told her we were heading to the hospital. It all felt unreal, like we had
prepared so much for this moment and I couldn’t believe it was actually
underway. I heard Aaron call my mom, which made it even more real. I brushed my
teeth, got dressed and mostly focused on breathing through the contractions.
As we were heading out the door Drea asked us each to pull a
tarot card. I was impressed that she thought of it in all the commotion. She
fanned the cards out faced down and I pulled Lakshmi, goddess of Prosperity.
Drea pulled Archangel Michael, the top of the card read “You can do it!” We all
laughed and she said, “You should take this one with you.”
We got in the car and Aaron called his mom at 1:26 am,
saying “Are you ready to be a grandmother? Then get yourself up here.” Then he
called his dad at 1:50 am and Lacey at 1:51 am. We pulled into the Emergency Room entrance and walked into
the quiet hospital. Aaron calmly told the man at the desk that I was in labor.
He looked at me and looked confused, probably because with my puffy coat on it
was hard to tell I was pregnant. A nurse came down with a wheelchair but I told
her I wanted to walk. She escorted us up to the Labor & Delivery floor.
We checked in at the desk and I signed insurance paperwork,
which made me laugh on the inside because I had no idea what I was signing.
Aaron made a joke that we just signed a promise to name the baby after whatever
delivery nurse we got assigned. I was so happy when our nurse Amelia walked us
down to the big corner room we had seen during our hospital tour, room number
5. It was a corner room with windows on two sides that over looked UVM’s
campus, Lake Champlain and the Adirondacks. It also had a large tub in the
bathroom and I decided I wanted to be in that tub for a good portion of my
labor.
Aaron set up our LED candles and the iPad with our
hypnobirth tracks. Amelia filled the tub and the bathroom looked like a mini
spa.
I had envisioned doing support poses with Aaron and looking
into his eyes and being very alert and connected, but I found myself becoming
very internal and less aware of what was happening around me. I got into the
tub, the warmth felt so good on my abdomen and lower back. It helped immensely.
Every time a contraction came I felt like I needed to push up out of the tub
and put my hands on the edge and lean forward. I thought about experimenting
with other positions but instinctively went back to this one every time.
The contractions were getting stronger and I felt like I was
on some crazy drug. I had to dig so deep every time and each contraction was
different. One time focusing so intently on my breath and being as still as
possible would help. The next time I would need to incorporate some movement,
like rocking belly dance motions.
Aaron stroked my back and when a contraction would come he would remind
me to breath, to relax my jaw, to not let my low moans turn into high-pitched
cries. He would repeat “ooooo-pennnnn” in a calming voice and I would try to
say it with him. I couldn’t look at him or interact with him but his presence
was incredibly comforting.
As things got more intense I thought about the women in the
Orgasmic Birth DVD, particularly one that looked like she was in pure bliss
during labor. Her body was so loose and relaxed and she moved like she was
making love. I held that visual and started to move fluidly and let my head and
neck flow and my hips and back sway. While it was still intense I felt like I
was working with the sensation rather then trying to prevent it by tightening
up. I was getting so tired that I didn’t always have the strength or focus to
let go but it was amazing to experience the difference just for a moment. I
understand how labor would be a different experience with that kind of
surrender.
Aaron sent occasional text updates to our family members in
the waiting room – Phil, Linda, Donna, Lacey, Mike, Jeanine, Drea and Bethany.
3:08 am everything is looking great, 100% effaced, 4-5cm
6:14 am All is well, she’s working hard
At some point Kathy took over for Amelia. Dr. Jenny Lowell
replaced Kristin, along with a resident doctor. The sun came up and we could
see the Lake in the distance and the students heading to class across campus. I
found myself looking at them thinking they had no idea what was happening up
here. Something about the sun was discouraging, I realized we had been at this
all night. I heard Jenny saying, “It would be great if labor had a pause
button, just a 20-minute break to regroup.” So true.
I had started the evening in my carefully selected labor
outfit, but by this time modesty was out the window. I was naked and oblivious.
Later I put on my white bathrobe, which weirdly didn’t come off until after I
delivered. I’m happy to report it is somehow stain-free.
Jenny checked me and confirmed I was 5-6 cm dilated. It
didn’t seem like much of a change from last time and I started to wonder how
much longer I could carry on. Discussions began about breaking my water. Being
in the bath had slowed down contractions so that some were 10-15 minutes apart.
My team suggested walking around but every time I stood up a powerful
contraction came and I would lean over something or drop to my knees over the
bed. Kathy would rush over and put towels under me and remind me to rest on my
elbows instead of my wrists so that I wouldn’t be sore. She also kept a monitor
on my belly to keep an eye on the baby. He was doing very well.
Jenny explained that breaking my water would make
contractions more intense but it would move things along and it would all be
over sooner. I couldn’t imagine making the choice to make things harder. Fortunately during that conversation my
water broke on it’s own. I was standing up in the bathroom and I felt a little
trickle, than a gush like I was peeing on the floor. Yay!
Aaron texted the family.
8:49 am Water broke, 7 cm things are moving now, she’s
amazing
I moved to the bed. Kathy piled up a ton of pillows for me
to lean over. The contractions came faster and stronger. During many of the
contractions the thought crossed my mind “As soon as this one is over and I can
speak I’m going to tell them that I can’t go on any longer.” I whimpered my
declaration and Kathy and Aaron gently explained that I was so close and I was
doing great. I didn’t have the strength to argue with them.
Suddenly during one of the contractions I got this urge to
bare down, like I was trying to shove my insides out of my body. The sensation
brought enormous relief. I became very vocal. Kathy knew what was happening and
left to get Jenny. I pushed during the next contraction. It was just me and
Aaron in the room so this made him nervous. He said “Hun, Jenny is on her way,
can you wait until she gets here?” I couldn’t.
At about 9:45am Jenny and the resident came in and checked
me. I don’t recall the stats but they started wheeling over tables and tools so
I knew it must be time. Oh. My. God. Such relief. I knew they weren’t doing
this to humor me, it was time. A few folks from Pediatrics entered the room
because there had been meconium present when my water broke.
The team coached me on pushing. I held the back of my thighs
and Aaron, Kathy and another young resident held my feet. It felt amazing to
push, like I was taking the reigns. I would wait for the sensation, then push
with all my might. I let out a dramatic grunt/scream every time, just like the
movies.
Jenny and the resident used packets of olive oil, ironically
the same as the City Market buffet, to massage and stretch my tissue and
encourage it to stretch. I heard the term “crowning” and my heart lifted. He
was coming down! Jenny told me to feel his head. I couldn’t tell what was head
and what was tissue, it was all so soft and squishy. Afterwards Aaron called it
“hair pudding”. Ew. I became more motivated and determined to push. Each time
his head came out a little more. Now I could really see it. I would push so hard
because I didn’t want him to slip back in. I started to feel like the next push
could be it. Later Aaron told me my face turned purple when I pushed. I can
only imagine what all this was like from his perspective.
The team cheered me on and I continued to push and vocalize
until suddenly everyone started cheering all at once like a big finale and I
knew he was almost out. I pushed until I couldn’t breathe and his little head
slipped out, then his shoulder, then the rest of his magnificent little body.
WOW!!!! He didn’t cry immediately, which was the sign for Pediatrics to step
in. But Jenny held up her hand and motioned for them to wait. And we all just
stared at him for what felt like forever, prayed for him to cry on his own so
he wouldn’t have to be taken by the Pediatric doctors for suction (because of
the meconium). He was resting on
the bed between my thighs when I heard a little shriek and then a full on baby
cry. Jenny looked satisfied and waved off Pediatrics. They wiped him down and placed
him in my arms. He was blue and
slimy and BEAUTIFUL. And he was ours. Aaron looked at me so proud and so
exhausted. We did it. I couldn’t believe I wasn’t crying. I think I was too
exhausted. They clamped down the umbilical cord and asked Aaron if he wanted to
cut it. He did.
At 10:51 am Aaron texted a photo of me and Owain to the
family.
Happy birthday
Owain Griffith Smith was born at 10:38 am on Friday,
February 1, 2013. He weighed 7 lbs 11 oz and measured 20 inches of perfection.
After note: While Owain was resting on my chest, the
placenta came out and the doctors took the time to show Aaron all the details.
Most likely, more than he wanted to know. It was silvery, blue and purple.
Apparently he thought it was “very cool”. They then asked us if we wanted to
keep it and we both looked at each other like it would be interesting if we
said yes but we declined. Maybe next time.
